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Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby beau58 on Thu Aug 05, 2010 5:13 pm

ThaiPride wrote:I gave 1 million baht for the 'bride wealth' which helped her family plenty.


Really???? You gave 1 million baht sin sord to a poor bargirl from Isaan. Are you insane? Her family and the whole village must all be laughing their asses off, behind your back.

I'll teach you a little something about real Thai culture. Sin Sord (dowry) is based on the status of the girl and her family. It is a fairly standardized system of payment, and not based on whatever the market can bear, except in the case of stupid Farang who are ignorant of the culture and therefore easily duped.

For your information, 1 million Baht would be what an upper middle-class Bangkok family would expect for their respectable, well-educated daughter (meaning, at a top university). A Farang friend of mine, fluent in Thai, well-integrated into the culture, who has appeared on numerous Thai TV shows married the daughter of two Chulalongkorn University professors. His wife's family were an old Thai family, living on a small estate of land granted to her father's ancestors by King Rama II.

He paid 999,999 Baht (9 being a lucky number) and 10 Baht in gold for a girl from a family with a solid standing in Thai society.

When I marry later this year to my Isaan GF, who is from a well-respected middle-class family, (albeit, still an up-country one, and not from Bangkok and not Thai), the sin sord will likely be about 350,000 and 5 baht of gold.

If a Thai had married your wife, prior to her life as a bargirl, her family would have been extremely lucky to get 50,000 and 2 Baht of gold as a dowry. Generally, Farang marrying Isaan farmgirls are expected to pay double her worth and therefore, you should have at the very most paid 100,000. Afterall, her status, such as it was prior to her life in the bar was completely destroyed afterwards.

Is it any wonder that poor Isaan girls are falling over themselves trying to land a Farang husband, when culturally-ignorant non-residents are paying ridiculous sums to marry girls that no self-respecting Thai would have for free?
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby Voice on Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:52 pm

Well you cannot expect everyone to know about this thing when it comes to Thai dowry. Of course there isn’t the right amount of money for one daughter. It a custom that I myself a Thai still not quite get use to it either. It would be helpful if you have some Thai friend to consult about put down a dowry before hand. Well good luck with you all only thing we could do is hope for the best.
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby KhunMaw on Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:15 pm

I'm afraid Beau is right. The education you're getting is a far different sort that you envision. Hang onto your wallet. I'd ask "how in the heck do you marry someone after visiting her in the bar a few times?" but I've seen it happen over and over again. Some guys are overwhelmed coming from virtual social invisibility to the attention of a young nubile damsel in distress.

I remember when a friend married a gal from Khon Kaen and bought her family a pig farm. One disaster after another requiring a cash infusion (by guess who?). Ultimately he divorced her and married a much nicer, better educated and ambitious Thai woman. They run a business brokerage together in Bangkok.

I speak a fair amount of Thai and find language and culture a huge obstacle. I almost married a Thai/Chinese woman I met in the US when she was at University. The Chinese father and I got along well, but the Thai mother didn't like the idea of a farang (or at least this one) being part of the household. She could never stand up to the family and had to move back to her "golden cage" in Bangkok. Her family was well off and I think wanted a mil for the sin sot.
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby Voice on Fri Aug 06, 2010 3:38 am

KhunMaw wrote “I speak a fair amount of Thai and find language and culture a huge obstacle. I almost married a Thai/Chinese woman I met in the US when she was at University. The Chinese father and I got along well, but the Thai mother didn't like the idea of a farang (or at least this one) being part of the household. She could never stand up to the family and had to move back to her "golden cage" in Bangkok. Her family was well off and I think wanted a mil for the sin sot.


This one classic example when it comes to class & education. When the girl or the girl family have money & education they have more choice and 9 out of 10 they will choose a Thai guy with education and money. Unless you have more brain & more money you might just get one foot in the door. Not all bar girl is bad if any girl has been in the business for more than a year I think you can forget her. Some may have just started to work in the bar so it might not be too late to help her out of that kind of business all together. So you just have to watch who you meet in the street
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby susiQ on Fri Aug 06, 2010 7:09 am

HOLY!!! one mil...ThaiPride is so generous. Did you just get married recently? wish my parents were that lucky when I married an american man in 1987. yes still married, have 2 daughters 22 and 18.
Last edited by susiQ on Sat Aug 07, 2010 5:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby Voice on Fri Aug 06, 2010 7:25 am

Welcome to the forum SusiQ love to hear more from you! Have a nice day!
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby faranginkorat on Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:08 am

ThaiPride:
My wife (two college degrees) is from Rayong, where I worked when I first came here 13 years ago.
We have been in Isaan for the last 10 years because of my employment in the starch industry.
I am reasonably fluent in Thai and understand most of what goes on.
We live in a nice development where most of the houses were paid for by farangs.
One of our ex-neighbors lost her house in a card game.
A fool named "Nick" spent his life's savings to buy it for her after meeting her in Pattaya.
He is still outside London delivering pizzas.
She went back to Pattaya to find another fool.
Other women here have 2, 3, maybe 4 "husbands".
They stay with them when they visit, and receive monthly income from all of them.
Your generosity is admirable, assuming that it originates above your waist.
Think about it.
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby ThaiPride on Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:12 am

Hey everyone,
For the one who asked whether I just married, yes, we married about 4 months ago. Soon, if all the papers go through, I will be moving her and her 10 y/o son to England with me, letting her start a better life. I will hire a maid for the house in Thailand or we will ask for another family member to move in and help her parents. I hope we will not have any problems with her language, that's why I really don't agree with the new immigration rules.

If I am correct, I remember seeing post saying, 'if you really love her, money is not an issue.' We love each other immensely and will stay together a long time. What I haven’t said yet is that I also send 50k Baht per month to her family still so they don't have any further problems.

We have also discussed Thai culture and polygamy. She said that it is perfectly fine to do so. Therefore soon I will be looking for one more lovely girl. I run a business in England and money is good so I really do not see a problem with anything what I am paying for. I see it as an investment. It is an escort service and if they want to work for me I will be happy to give them a job. :cheers:

Just for everyone to learn a little something. Dowry is central Asian custom same as India where the family of the bride pays the family of the groom. On the other hand, 'bride wealth' is the South East Asian custom where the family of the bride receives gifts and wealth from the family of the groom. If you do not believe me, please look it up.
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby faranginkorat on Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:46 am

ThaiPride:

Having a "mia noi" or two is common here, but it is not the same as "polygamy" as the mia noi is simply a mistress.
The "real wife" generally prefers "not to know", and never approves.
If your "wife" approves of polygamy, it is probably because she has 4 "husbands" each of whom visits once-in-a while and sends money every month when away.
Again, some of us have been here a long time and can speak Thai.
It is probably not appropriate for you to lecture us on Thai traditions.
Further, I am an American and understand western traditions thoroughly.
In the west, dowry does not go to the groom's family, it goes to the couple.
We don't sell our children.
What kind of a business can you run and make a lot of money at???????
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Re: Do you speak English Khun Noy?

Postby faranginkorat on Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:48 am

ThaiPride:

I just re-read your last post.

Do you run a prostitution ring??
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